The struggles of living the life of your dreams

The biggest problem with trying to live the life of your dreams is people will always tell you can't have it. "You can't do it, it's not possible."  It's constant.  I wanted to write this blog out of pure frustration, but have since calmed down to find a better purpose.  Twice this week I've been told I'm wrong, by people that have no idea what's going on.  The only reason I've been told that this week, is because I've actually opened up a bit about my recent actions towards reaching my dream goals. So what happens, only negativity and doubt get spread around like melted butter trying to wipe away my light and excitement.  When I can talk confidently about my answers, I can correct their hesitations, and they insist "I'm wrong, that will never work" is now a reason for me to just laugh and know I won't share anymore details with that person. I can say I have the perfect situation and people will find a way to find a negative; must find something wrong, it cannot be perfect.  They cannot simply accept what I say and respond, "cool, good for you."  I have quit talking about the goals as they are now a work in action and I don't need unwanted judgement. The dreams I've had for 12 plus years are now finally being worked out on paper in reality.  The money I write is real, no dreaming monopoly dollars anymore.  The business plan I prepare is a real plan, real research, real intent to execute with massive success.  Anyone attempting to go after a dream is actively shaking their head yes to all of the above. My story is not unique, the doubters are everywhere, ready to squash every dream.  It's usually subconscious from people.  With enough education, experience, and confidence in myself, now I can take that negativity and not let it bother me, I understand why they say that.  Until a day like today makes me so mad, it ruined my afternoon.

I am fully aware I let it ruin my afternoon.  I am in full control of my emotions. Comments can make me mad, or I can ignore them and they have no effect on me.  It takes a lot to make me mad.  Annoyed, frustrated sure, but rarely mad.  I don't like to be mad, it takes too much energy.  Today I stayed mad. What happened you wonder?  I was told my idea would fail.  Now, if you read the first paragraph this should come to no surprise as a response to my business idea.  This one was different. I'll start by saying I never once asked this person for advice... I was asked a simple question about my future gym plans in which I was cut off mid first sentence TWICE because the person asking was looking for a very specific answer.  I was trying to explain, he was only open to one option and my words weren't matching his thoughts.  In that moment, this fitness professional decided he had ALL the knowledge and I had none (even though he never really let me answer).  I got a 30+ minute lecture on why I am wrong.  When I stopped him early on to say he was wrong (politely), I was corrected and again told I would fail and I am wrong, so he continued talking (still never asked for one ounce of his advice or opinions). This person had no concept of my goals, but he thought he did.  If I was meaner I would have just said, "we're done, please leave."  I'm working on getting tougher.  I stood up for myself today as much as I could so that's progress, next step, shut up the haters and move on with my life.

Then later in the afternoon, scrolling Facebook there's an ad portraying the story of an overweight black women who is a superstar killing it in long distance races, trail runs, and all day running events.  They share the judgement she receives, the comments and looks she gets, and the harsh hatred of emails she gets. People are cruel.  People judge.  People don't show their best colors when others are doing something they want. I have had an easy path compared to so many that endure far more abuse and negativity on their quest for their dreams. Those that keep focus on their goals can shrug off the negativity and move forward. You have to have your mind right.  You have to be so true to yourself that unwanted comments do not change who you are.  Many live to please others.  There's no happiness in that because people judge everything.  Be who you want to be.  You only have to please yourself.  An afternoon of anger doesn't change anything.  It lets me be mad because I am, but I will not let it carry into tomorrow or any actions I take.  It's just an emotion.  You have to listen to those too, but on the road to happiness, stay true to yourself.  For the record, I also had one great interaction this week where we talked ideas and I was not a failure, we supported each other (so not everyone is bad, just those that don't want to understand).

Don't base happiness on your numbers

I wrote a new style of training program for myself to try over a 6 week course.  Here are those notes.

My results were both great and disappointing. When I started this program, I hadn't followed a consistent training routine in years.  I'd been doing random workouts, different strength building routines, but mostly rehab type workouts.  I've also had to be very careful with intensity because my nervous system needs many days to recover from each workout.  I didn't have much excitement to start training, but I did have a reason.  I was very motivated to accomplish a goal I've had for a couple years- a bike ride through the Colorado mountains.  I had the trip planned and knew I was not in shape to do the bike ride, or the newly added major hike.  I knew at my current fitness/health level, I could get through it, but I wanted to enjoy it; so I had 6 weeks to become the best I could be.  That's not a long time so I kept my expectations in check.

The great part about this program:

• After a couple weeks, I was excited to go to the gym, excited to be back on a routine.
• It felt good to eat healthy.  I always eat casually healthy, but it felt great to eat for a reason.  My body craved healthy fruits and vegetables.  I was eating consistently and following a plan.
• I was feeling strong again; not injured, not in pain.
• I had more energy, my mood was better, my stress went down.  I had more confidence in my abilities.
• My training routines for my clients improved because I had better focus and connection to the training process.  I had new ideas, new excitement.

As for the numbers, well, my happiness wasn't based entirely on those:

• Body fat percentage increased 2%
• Total weight increased 2.5 pounds
• Bench press 3 rep max improved slightly.  The 100 pounds I did on test day needed a spot assist every time.  On progress day, I was able to lift the 100 pounds without assistance but was unable to lift anymore than that.
• Front Squat total reps with 70 pounds increased from 17 to 25 reps.  What's better, on test day I had noted that I couldn't move 100 pounds without pain.  On progress day, I got 12 reps at 100 pounds but technique was poor and pain eventually set in... but that's huge progress in only 6 weeks!
• Single leg, leg press machine 3 rep max improved from 150 to 180 pounds.  This is my proudest measure since this is where the pain and problems would shine through. 

I wasn't able to finish the other test markers on progress day because I wasn't feeling great.  I had eaten a meal the night before that I knew would have consequences.  My neurological system was too fatigued, I was struggling to breathe and I had no energy; so instead of forcing it, I just noted how I felt and I will re-try the program another time.  My biggest problem is that my body wasn't ready for so many training days.  I trained 3 days a week.  As I've mentioned, my body needs more rest than that, so by the final week I couldn't function at a high level.  

The big takeaways- I was able to accomplish my goal of the bike ride from Breckenridge to Copper (and back to Breck), which in total was just under 40 miles and I can literally say, "uphill both ways."  The last 2-3 miles at either end of the ride were tough.  For 3 of the 6 weeks of training I couldn't get on a bike without knee pain.  Knowing the entire trip was about the bike ride, I tried to stay focused on the drills that would fix the knee.  Instead of forcing mileage training on a bike, I corrected my problem and was able to ride in the mountains without pain.

I was also able to make the Manitu Incline hike top to bottom.  Up is 0.88 miles gaining 2,000 feet of elevation.  Coming down, switchback path about 4 miles with a steep decline grade.  This was an added bonus to the trip that I'm so thrilled I did.  One of the coolest things I've done.  Loved the challenge and loved the views.  Also loved having no pain up thousands of steps and having my asthma never be a problem because I paced myself and listened to my body.

The increase in body fat % and body weight shows the poor choice of eating the night before, the fatigue the body was having (increased numbers shows overtraining on the system), and my lack of ability to do hard cardiovascular work.  I could lift but would have pain with the quick movements so I didn't get many workouts in with elevated heart rate, which is essential to changing body composition.  Lastly, this was squished into 6 weeks when it should be at least 10 - 12 weeks.  With no pressures to climb a mountain anytime soon, I'll retry this program with more flexibility.  Overall, very happy with the many short term benefits it brought.

Push yourself out of your comfort zone and great things will happen.  Your body will love you for having a consistent training program so I highly encourage you to start now!  Or, if you've been consistent, then do something new.  Change up the pace, the intensity, or try new workout skills.  I know you can do this! Go be successful!