Impact

Not sure if this counts as a blog, rather just a short story about a little motivation about why I enjoy coaching kids.

I grew up playing softball, competitive travel and high school.  I was also a shy, quiet, not popular kid going through high school.  It was never on my agenda to be "cool," and I usually didn't associate with or understand why those kids made those choices.  I tell you that because my high school softball coach only saw popularity, she didn't see talent or work ethic.  I did not like this woman (to say the least).

I recently went to a conference filled with fitness business owners. The last speaker of the conference had us punch through a board.  It was a powerful room to be in with 200 plus people yelling, getting pumped up, and then succeeding as we all punched through our board with our weaknesses facing us as we punched through those to our strengths.

One of the things that I had written on the board as a proud moment was "standing up to my high school coach."

My senior year I never got to play. I don't say this out of jealously, but out of true fact- all the cool popular kids got to play.  One day we were playing our in town rivals and I was excited I was finally going to get to play.  See many of the popular kids had gotten suspended from school that week which meant they weren't eligible to play, which meant, I was going to have to play because coach didn't have other options.  Sadly I got to play one or two innings is all because coach still let the popular kids play against school rules.  There's more politics to be had in there I'm sure, but the basics still speak volumes.

Another example, I finally worked up the courage to ask coach why I wasn't getting playing time after practice one day. Not only did she not let me play, she barely acknowledged me ever, so confronting her after practice was terrifying, but I did it. I honestly don't remember what she said, but it had to be something about not working hard enough.  I knew that was a lie, but I was going to prove to her I can work.  The fastest girl on the team (who's one of the fastest girls playing in our age group in the state) was doing our conditioning sprints one day in practice with only half effort because she knew she could beat everyone with no effort.  So I went all out, almost beat her (made her actually start running), came in a close second and about died because I had asthma that made it so I couldn't recover and breathe like everyone else.  With my chest burning, lungs hurting I knew I gave it my all.  Coach never acknowledged it and made us run again.  I still couldn't breathe so I knew it wasn't worth trying anymore.

There were many more moments of this defeating feeling throughout the season. This coach was terrible.  So much so, it made me want to make sure no kid I taught would feel that way.  I coached my own team for a few seasons and now coaching athletes every day for my job, I try to make sure the quiet ones in class get recognized. I do not believe in an "everyone wins" attitude, but if you are working your butt off and just tend to be a quiet kid, I'll make sure I acknowledge that and encourage bravery and self confidence.  People don't remember what you say, but they definitely remember how you made them feel.  Make sure the people you're around and influencing get positive interactions with you.  Lift people up, encourage them.  Don't just point out mistakes and problems. Be the supportive friend, impactful teacher, encouraging with tough love parent. Be the better person, take the high road.

Oh and as for my softball coach, my last words to her were in her card at the end of the season banquet, "see you later coach, I wish I could say thanks."  Don't be that coach or influencer, be the person that kids learn and grow from, they are most definitely learning and watching.